Sinanay mo kasing umaasa sa'yo.
The time when helping is not helping anymore.
Ang problema sa pagiging mabait: pwede kang maabuso.
It started from your soft heart to care, which eventually led to obligation.
More!
Gusto pa nila ng isa pa, at ng isa pa, hanggang sa sobra na.
The interesting part is that this happens subconsciously.
Syempre, may mga iniisip talaga na magsamantala pero karamihan, it became natural – to add the intensity.
Nakatago madalas sa mga biro at samo't saring istilo ng kiliti.
It eats your resources.
It eats your attention.
It eats your time.
It eats you.
Totoo Naman
We have to admit, everyone can be kind to people.
Sa simula.
But a kind beginning doesn't guarantee a healthy continuation.
Hindi ibig sabihin na tumulong ka, e nakatulong ka na talaga.
This is quite tricky.
Nakadepende palagi sa nakakatanggap ng goodwill kung mapapabuti o mapapasama.
Example na lang natin ang mga nanglilimos sa daan o kahit sa loob ng jeep.
Isantabi na muna natin kung napansin mo na nag-aabot pa sila ng magandang sobre na parang mas mahal pa 'yon kaysa sa ibibigay mo.
Two possibilities sa ginagawa nila:
- Ituloy nila yon as a way of living
- Use it as a way to have a better way of living
Pero babalik rin on how they will define a "better way of living".
Yong umaasa sa iba o kayang mag-isa.
This phenomenon doesn't only happen to strangers.
Mas malala pa nga yong malapit sayo.
You already built the connection, and mamamarkahan lang ng gigil.
Gigil in a bad way.
May tiwala ka na e.
Tapos dudungisan pa ng pagkaabuso.
Even if it's just kidding, the result is the same - taking advantage of you.
Pinatikim mo ng unting sarap.
Natuwa naman.
The relationship became a little bit enjoyable.
Another instance occurred again, then goodies were given by you.
Plus 1 sa "okay" psychological measures niya.
And the cycle repeats numerous times until the sentiments occur.
"Ito lang?"
"Wala na?"
"Damot naman."
"Expected yan a."
Vocal or not, the created entitlements are the same.
New Standard
Kapag pinatikim mo ang isang tao ng mas masarap, hirap na 'yan bumalik sa dating sarap.
Experience, taste, standard, or any kind of pleasure - these are human nature.
Deep inside, gusto natin na laging mag-improve.
If you're stuck in stagnation, you're slowly dying.
To make it literal, you can use retirees as a reference.
Kapag wala ka nang tinatrabaho, kasi sabi mo "retired" ka na, mataas ang tyansa ng pagbilis ng pag-expire ng buhay mo.
Compared to another idea of retirement — doing what you love and not seeing it as work.
That's the reasonable retirement we can aim for.
Sa desire na yan, pinsan niya yong sinasabi nating nagsasamantala sa kabutihan mo.
Ang hirap alisin kapag nasa sistema mo na.
Pero tayo rin naman talaga yong nag-participate para ma-build ang nabuong sistema even if that is subconsciously.
We have two options:
- Unti-unting ayusin, or
- Just cut the tie
The first one is the go-to here in terms of cause and effect consideration.
Yong pangalawa naman, praktikal na gamitin kung after mong putulin, hindi na kayo magkikita talaga o malabo nang bumalik.
This creates an opportunity to realize that when discomfort is present, possible improvement could arise.
Possible.
Just only possible.
Baka Lang
Pagkakataon na natin itong pag-isipang mabuti.
Para kung sakaling dumalaw ulit ang ganitong eksena, hindi na tayo gano'n mabubulabog.
We have to remind ourselves of the purpose of any game, just like this one.
"The purpose of the game is to be done with it."
Kung pinipilit mo na lang gawin for the purpose na gawin, you already lost it.
The issue is deeper than we think.
Bakit mo ito problem in the first place?
Sa dami ng problema sa mundo, bakit big deal ito sa'yo?
Ganyan ka ba ka-special para maubusan ng mas kumplikadong problema at matira na lang sa'yo yong simple.
Unless it's a life-or-death situation, the best option is to simply eject.
How you do it will depend on your preference at yong kaya mong ma-take.
The faster, the better.
Sa parteng buhay na talaga ang nakataya, kailangan lang ng munting paalala ulit.
"You can't help others effectively unless you help yourself first."
Nakakapagod na yong mga salitaan na isipin mo muna yong iba bago sarili mo.
This type of social norm is trying to create a framework for us to be easily controlled.
Charity, but forced — just delivered subtly.
Habang mas nalilito ka, mas madali kang utuin.
I'm not saying this is bad or good.
What I'm saying is that this is the cold, hard truth of the veil they called kindness.
Hindi ka si Saitama sa One-Punch Man na palabas para mawalan ng limiter.
May hangganan ang kaya mong madala.
Wag na nating hintayin maabot yon, kasi at that time, the damage was already done.
Unavoidable Marking
This is part of maturity.
Hindi nasa edad ang pagkakaroon ng pinagkatandaan.
A clear understanding is what makes wisdom flourish.
Kailangan nating tumuloy.
Kailangan na nating tigilan.
Kailangan nang umusad.
May sakit na kasama, galing sa comfort zone e.
This doesn't mean to become the full villain.
You can just reframe it as the transition phase of your life.
Ito yong sudden realization na mahalaga naman siya o sila sa atin, at kailangan lang nating ayusin.
May buhay sila.
May buhay ako.
May sariling buhay ka rin.
Our path can intersect at any point in time – planned or not.
Nand'yan ka pa rin naman.
Bigayan pa rin ang pwedeng datingan.
We are just drawing a line in a way that both parties can enjoy the experience.
Darating naman ang punto na magiging normal na lang ang dati na parang hirap maging araw-araw mo.
Napapagod din tayo.
Need din nating magpahinga sa kantong unhealthy na tambayan.
Dadaanan o hihintuan, sure.
Pero hindi ka na lagi yong taya sa ambagan.
- Mark Galvez
